And so it begins.

Photo taken here.

 
...and the big yellow taxi took my girl away...
-"Big Yellow Taxi" by Counting Crows

To Madrid, Spain.
My sister, together with my Mom, that is.
We were at the airport at 8:00am, two hours before their flight at 10:00am.

One year is a long time to be apart.
And it's a first too, for us to celebrate Christmas and New Year apart.

...there's a hole in my heart in the shape of you...
"The Shape of You" by Jewel

I didn't cry in the airport just as I promised myself I wouldn't.
It's not me trying to be macho or anything.
Rather, it's me wanting to be that one smiling face.
I wanted to be that one reminder that parting, though it brings tears, also promises adventure.
This is something she's long wanted.
A dream.
I should know.
I was her carpool mate when she conceived this dream to take her masters abroad.
That day prompted the beginning and the realization of her dream.

...already I'm so lonesome I could die...
Leaving on a Jet Plane, Chantal Kreviazuk

But I miss her already.
The house seems incomplete.
I feel incomplete.
Like I'm missing a body part.
We'll keep in touch for sure.
But it will not be the same.
It will not be the same.
It is not the same.

Earlier, though I meant to be funny, I meant it too when I said that the moment we stepped out of our car from bringing her to the airport, we have begun living our days without her.
Yeah, we're a family severely attached to each other.
And the idea of being apart has been far-fetched until this day.
One year apart.
Imagine that.
I don't need to.
And so it begins.

I'm rooting for you big sister!

A Happy Morning, Ma'am Reyna, A Happy Face at the Airport, and the Lesson to be Learned from 'fessing up

Photo taken here.

Today's one of those days when I woke with a smile on my face. Even if it's at 6:30am without having my dose of coffee. I took my time getting up. Without my sister beckoning on me to get my ass moving so that she won't be late and with the car at my disposal, I was in control. And I liked it. I turned on the TV, watched some music videos, and then got a move on at 7am, prepared a sandwich to much on in the car, left the house at 7:30am, and arrived in the office at 8:30am. Nevermind that it was a bit traffic in EDSA.

*  *  *

I emailed Ma'am Reyna this morning. She is one of vice presidents of the company I first worked in that I was lucky to've been pretty well-acquianted with. What with all the projects we worked on together! Collaterals like flyiers, tarpaulines, posters, emailers, ads... the list goes on I tell you. With the immense coverage of her job description, Ma'am Reyna was practically involved in all projects! Seriously, it was crazy and at almost 60, she is pert as a happy bee. She jumps when she's excited, raises her voice when she's passionate (by passionate, I mean either angry or happy), and runs about the office to chase the door before it closes. God I miss her.

Photo taken here.

She replied that she's doing well, and that she can't attend Adam Lambert's coming concert, that's she's resigned to just watching tv and not going to concerts like she used to. She's a fan of Glambert you know, of American Idol actually. Lambert was her bet, and at that time, she insisted that he's straight and I remember emailing her photos of Adam in drag. I liked Kris Allen better than him then. Now, after both have released solo albums, I'm a Glambert fanboy. In fact I'm considerin going to his concert. Hmm... Back to Ma'am Reyna, I will never forget her story on how she wore this leather jacket which she waved in the air as Mig Ayesa performed. I think that was the ad congress or some event in Subic. Though I didn't see her in action, the idea of her waving her leather jacket in the air while woohoo-ing is very believable and easy to imagine.

*  *  *

My sister's leaving this Saturday morning with my Mom. I have decided not to cry. I will be the one smiling face she will see seeing her off. While everyone will indulge in the feeling of missing her, I will lathe her with the excitement of a new adventure. I will not cry.

*  *  *

Sometimes you just want to do something crazy in your life, the one you've never really attempted to rumple like a bedsheet. And you think that calling a certain someone to say, "You know what? You and I make sense together. Why don't we go out again?" At the risk of sounding like a fool, at the risk of being coldly rejected, at the risk of never seeing this person again. But then again, have I not done this before? And I wonder, what should've been my learning from that experience? Never do it again, or that do it again if only to keep proving that cliche that the truth will set you free? And it did set me free, telling the truth to the person. Does this mean that the latter is the better choice then? I can't decide.

Photo taken here.

Pot-bellied police, a janitor, and Mickey Mouse

The car I was left to drive to the office today was not allowed in the highways from 7am onwards, and in spite of my two phones alarming their micro tin hearts out to me at 5am, it took my Lola sitting next to me and shaking me by my shoulder, her voice urging me to get up, to really wake me up at the golden time of 6am. Enough time for a quick shower, I thought.

At 6:30am, I was already in the bottleneck at the end of East Avenue leading to EDSA. And by 7:30am, I got in my office. An hour and thirty early from our call time. It amazes me how, when I need it the most, I become invisible to the hounding, pot-bellied men of the MMDA. It's amazing.

Photo taken here.

*  *  *

Parking. A maintenance crew blocked my way. I slowed down and quietly, waited for him to cross the street. He took his time crossing, holding his broom and dustpan, and I figured that his turtle steps was a protest against arrogant drivers who beep him out of the way. The quick, snide look gave him away. My engine made sure to breathe heavily towards his direction.

Photo taken here.

*  *  *

Hungry, first thing I did when I got to my desk was remove the tape off of the lid of my rolled-up instant chocolate oatmeal and and then I poured some to my mug. Like dandruff, a lot fell on the carpeted floor. I let them be. I noticed that more was falling down the carpeted floor. SHIT! My oatmeal pack had been nibbled by Mickey Mouse! Fuck you Mickey Mouse!!!

Pissed, I threw out my oatmeal in one of the plastic bags I keep in my drawer and with a heavy heart, settled for instant hot chocolate. Fuck you Mickey Mouse!!! Better not show yourself, else I'll stomp you dead!

Photo taken here.

 *  *  *

My sister is leaving for Spain this weekend. The pang of the reality bit me during lunch today. Shit. But instead of sulking in my usual seperation anxieties, I cleared my mind and thought of upgrading the family album gift my sibs and I are giving to her to a care package full of her favorite things. Filipino chick flicks like "Got to Believe" and "Til there was You". Chocnut... and then my mind went blank. Twenty five years I've spent with her and I don't know what my older sister's favorites are at the snap of a finger. Sad face.

Tonight I'll very discreetly fish out her favorite things. Hmmm... I need creative seques.

*  *  *

As usual, I'm the last one out of the office. The color coding scheme forces me out of the road until 7pm. Sigh. I wish I had a bigger desk.